slow spiral into insanity

Today I have been poking and soaking. It's a long story, but it started when we noticed mushrooms growing on the lawn ... in a circle ... and the lawn was not growing where the mushrooms were. We have a fairy ring!
So, off to the supercomputer ... guess what ... bloomin difficult to cure. Apparently, or is it allegedly, there is one at Stonehenge that is squillions (well hundreds anyway) of years old. (And I thought it was druids and hippies that danced in a ring at Stonehenge ... not fairies, oh well).
So, it seems that there are no weedkillers that joe public can buy that will kill the blighters off ... not that I could really use them anyway, being a bit organic. So eventually I found a site in California, where apparently fairy rings are a big problem, and they said that fairy rings are a growing problem (hahahaha) on the increase indeed. Not a lot can cure it ... the fungus (something sounding like mycell*** - can't remember the exact details!) only dies when its source of food is depeleted. And it loves thatch ... the build up that grass makes. Woop.
However, it did have a cosmetic cure. Now the thing is this fungus when it grows is a clever little thing ... I'm sure there must be huge potential for what it does ... it makes the ground around it waterproof! So the grass roots can't get water and the grass around it dies ... leaving the mushrooms to munch on all the local organic delicacies.
So, to make the lawn look better (can't actually make the mushrooms bu**er off) you have to

1. Pick mushrooms (apparently delicious and non toxic - but hubby wouldn't try them, spoilsport!) So, in my case, then bin them.
2. Find a kebab stick or a skewer ... I jest not. Stab the ground repeatedly, to a depth of 2 ins or more, all round the bloody ring.
3. Pour slightly soapy water on the ring and hopefully into the holes. Now the site recommended washing up water ... apparently the soap makes the water wetter??

Repeat 3 steps EVERY day for 4-6 WEEKS.

So I have been doing this for four days and already my right arm stabbing muscle is a bicep beyond compare! I must try stabbing with left arm too. Also neighbours stare at me ... I can tell they are whispering to each other about my stabbing of the lawn then leaving little piles of fairy bubbles (lol ... in the UK fairy is washing up liquid) artfully arranged on the lawn.

I am worried they will completely freak out when they find out tomorrow I am going to sit in a park, in public, on my own with a picnic and knit - in the rain!
Well that started cos tomorrow is WWKIP day (knit in public day) ... and no-one from Bury seems to want to participate - except me ...

So if I never appear to blog again, forgive me, I will be in a nice place, with nice carers, and hopefully they will allow me my knitting needles.

Have a great day tomorrow!
xx

Why do I love yarn ... let me count the ways

Yarn loves you to cuddle it, but doesn’t want you to make it tea or beer.
Yarn loves you to wind it around your little fingers.
Yarn is happy if you don’t talk to it.
Yarn is happy if you do talk to it.
Yarn doesn’t create piles of washing.
Yarn doesn’t need feeding.
Yarn likes it if you suddenly pick it up and cuddle it even if it was asleep.
I love yarn.

Yarn is my secret lover and I sneak it into the house when hubby is not watching.
I hide yarn in cupboards all over the house and often go for a secret stroke.
When hubby is out I go and have loving sessions with my yarn.
I love yarn.

I can choose a yarn to match my mood :
- soft silky sensuous
- strong butch and robust
- fine ethereal and elegant
- multicoloured
- deep hued
- pastel
I love yarn.

Yarn never moans when I put it to one side for another.
Yarn always makes me feel welcome when I pick it back up.
Yarn never looks at another Knitter and thinks they could be happier with them
Yarn will wait forever for me.
I love yarn