Tuesday, 1 May 2012
A niece died, unexpectedly. She had cancer, but seemed stable. She went into hospital to have her medications balanced and died that night. Her lungs filled with fluid suddenly and her body shut down. She was in her early 40s.
And the good news? Well, there has been rain ... a lot of it. Which usually is bad news, and wasn't the nicest of weather to live through, but at least the irony of a hosepipe ban after the wettest April on record has left me smiling. And there was a rainbow over my garden.
Mum went for some tests, and is going for more. Not bad news, so that's good news really.
My new car arrived and looks lovely ... should I post a picture? Next time perhaps. The rainbow is beauty enough ...
Meanwhile knitting continues (and sanity remains), perhaps good things are on the horizon ... so the triteness of living through rain to sunshine heralded by a rainbow is cringe-worthy, but I'm not too cool to hope.
Friday, 20 April 2012
But strange heroes stepped up to the mark to rescue me, whilst I was rescuing MadMum.
There were all the landmarks I decided to aspire for and try to achieve in the past year:-
The 10k run to raise money for Alzheimers
The rock concerts I'd been missing
The fun and the laughter of days out, nights out and holidays
In a whistle stop summary, during the past year I ran (with my DD, her partner, and my DIL) 10k in the Great Manchester Run, raising over £3k for Alzheimers.
I went to Hard Rock Calling with DD and her OH, to see the Kaiser Chiefs and the Killers. I went to Oxygen with my schooldays chum, for 4 nights and 3 great days of concerts and caught unforgettables such as Coldplay, Beyonce (pre-baby), Brandon Flowers, Black Eyed Peas and Slash as well as great performances from Ke$ha, Noah and the Whale, Tiny Tempah, The Strokes, Foo Fighters (awesome), Beady Eye and so many, many more fantastic acts.
I went to Harvest at Jimmys Farm, and saw the Feeling and Eliza Doolittle.
Went to BBC Good Food show and saw Jamie Oliver bantering with Gino; James Martin with a broken foot and so many foodies and ate awesome yumyums.
Went to Centre Parks with my DS, DIL, fantastic twins, DD and OH, and we cycled, swam, treasure hunted and canoed; we got sore bots and sore feet, we drank wine and we laughed and had enormous fun.
I went to LIsbon, for the first time and walked up nearly all of the ten or was it nine hills ... which nicely offset the pounds that would have been accumulating because of the awesome food.
But the strangest of heroes was Harry Potter with knitting. On Ravelry there is an HP Knitting and Crochet House Cup; the folk are fun and the challenges are awesome.
When things got difficult with sisters who are angry, or loved ones who are ailing, there was knitting.
I knit some fun things and some wonderful things. I sorted my stash and I found caring friends. Knitters are, for the most part, caring fun people who enjoy making things that make other people happy.
I found shawls. I will end with a random few
Saturday, 10 December 2011
Saturday, 12 February 2011
I am flying back to the UK to see mum next week. As long as all is well with her, I will only be in England for about a week. I would be obliged if you would all allow me to spend as much time with her as possible and rearrange anything you may have planned for the week of 14 - 20 February with her. Mum tells me she has an appointment with the doctor on Wednesday 16. I understand how difficult it is to rearrange those appointments so perhaps that one is best kept. I have spoken to Jacqueline separately about her weekend of 19/20 February.
Thank you all for your cooperation.
I spent about five hours with Mum today and she was very excited that you would be flying over from “ooorstrayleearrr” to see her. She asked if I could get a small bed put in her room, so I suggested that you might want to use the guest suite along the hall (it’s only £5 per night).
She does have a couple of regular events that she wants to continue to do, but certainly you would be able do them with her. On Tuesdays she has her hair done in the hairdressing salon on site, and she would like to do that still if you are ok with it. I have asked the staff there and they would fit in an appointment to work around you if that is agreeable to you. On Fridays she has a day trip out to Newmarket Day Centre; the bus comes to pick her up and drops her back. She has another circle of friends there (including a Joan who comes from London and was born in 1928) She was keen to go to that again, and certainly the Day Centre would welcome you (lol, although it is for over 50’s I’m sure the average age is nearer 70!) if you wanted to go along.
As she said to you, she has a full health screening on the afternoon of Weds 16th, and that would be difficult to rearrange; particularly as I need to get her repeat medications set up. Wednesday mornings typically I go and give the flat a thorough clean, but certainly can either leave that to you or do it when you have gone back.
Obviously I have to book her meals and carers, so for now I shall wait to hear from you as to how you want me to play that. At the moment she has a full cooked lunch Mon-Thurs and a tea “picnic party” in the evenings. Friday she goes to NDC, where she has her lunch and the weekends there are no meal arrangements as typically she will have visits\outings with the family.
Please do let me know how I can help, and whether you want me to book the guest suite (or get a small bed!!) so that you can maximise the time you can spend with her. Obviously it would have been lovely to have spent some time with you, but I truly understand your first priority must be spending time with Mum.
Chris xBit too desperate, perhaps, but I still don't understand why she was so angry. But .. this was the response
Nice of you to try and organise the details of my visit to mum, but I've got it covered. Thanks.
I'm delighted that mum is still as excited about my trip as she was when we spoke about it on Sunday evening. I suppose that's the nice thing about being forgetful, you get to experience all the good news over again. I should have had her write my sleeping arrangements in her calendar along with the dates of my visit so she won't be upset at me turning down the bed in her room again when I speak to her on Thursday again. She had already suggested both the bed in her room and the suite, and I'd turned down both.
I think for arrangements about what we will do during the week (apart from her medical visit), it will be best if mum and I work out what she wants to do when I arrive. She obviously isn't into a routine yet since she has been there less than two weeks and her previous routine was interrupted when she went into the care home. Let mum and I play it by ear, ok? If you email me the details of the Friday visit to NDC, then if mum tells me she wants to go next week I'll call and make whatever arrangements are needed. If mum wants her hair done then perhaps it can be their first appointment on Tuesday morning?
Since you are operating with mum's Power of Attorney, I know you are concerned about what money of mummy's to spend. However, as I don't really know what we will do until I have seen mum's state of health and mind I suggest that carer arrangements should stay as they are. I'll notify the home if there are any changes. Perhaps you could ask them to be flexible about meal arrangements? I am sure that they can manage to rustle up a meal if she requires it or throw one away if she doesn't.
What time is the medical appointment on Wednesday?
I'm not looking forward to the UK in February. I'm going to be brave in a minute and look at the temperatures.
So, here I am, trying to ensure Mum is going to be ok for the next week, whilst I try to avoid my sister, who is angry at me ... and honestly guys I'm not sure why I feel guilty - I've been here, caring for my Mum, loving my Mum and supporting my Mum, all the while my sister has been enjoying her freedom in Australia. My Power of Attorney was first and foremost one for Health and Welfare. The Finance one came later, and Mum now is much better off since I have helped her out. The money comment is just plain mean and nasty: I've paid for most of Mum's care, hospital visits, food and clothing for the past 2 years.
Just send soothing thoughts to me, because I could cope with some virtual calming, for my Mum's benefit.
Hugs and hope life better with you